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About Archives Featured GuestsRunning through beautiful mountain countryside, a computerized voice in my brain kept me periodically updated on important stats like distance, time, pace, calories burned et cetera. When I was finally done I hit the “stop” button and the virtual landscape faded away around me, leaving me standing on my treadmill. Nike+ 16.0 really had come a long way, but they still needed to make the train feel more realistic.
I knew it was wrong, but I felt it calling to me, begging me to do the wrong thing. Finally, I gave in, I ate the entire quart of mint chocolate chip ice cream and I felt good about it.
One of my long time patient is terrified of needles and today was no different, when I gave him his yearly battery of shots he cried like a baby. An hour later my nurse asked me, “Why did you use needles three times bigger than you had to run that guy?” I laughed, “he deserves it for being a baby and besides, don’t you realize that’s the man responsible for making the Red Dawn remake? “
They say time is the fire in which we burn, and right now my time is running out. Savaged by disease, all the doctors made it clear I could go any any time. Fighting to stay alive I kidnapped a young man and begged him to give me some of his life; each time he refused or claimed not to know how, I beat him… until I’d beaten him to death.
No one ever believes me, but I use to be strong, hugely powerful. Men feared me, other men wanted to be me. It’s all over, my body is broken, I’m broken…
Trying to maintain my diet I searched through the kitchen for something nutritious to eat, thats when I saw chocolate cake. My brain mentally ran down the list of ingredients: carbs, sugar… EGGS, MILK; eggs and milk, thats nutritious! I greedily stuffed my face with my imagined nutritious meal; when I woke up in the hospital later they told me I had a heart attack at work.
If he’d been born 20 years ago he’d most likely be hacking into credit cards so he could buy useless junk. Now, with a plague of killer flu sweeping the world, the most valuable commodity was healthcare. Not many had it which is why he had spent two hours hacking into Blue Cross and forging some documents for himself.
The bus’s windshield wipers, clearing away the grey, frozen drizzle of the dead March afternoon, were driving me ever closer to the brink of insanity, that place where anyone can venture if pushed far enough by an infernal racket. The smack-smack of those wretched wipers burned through my fraying sense of reality — of what is real and what isn’t — until I found myself on the bus, five and a half hours after I had boarded it, stark naked and gnawing on my Kindle.
- C.D. Carter
C.D. Carter is a reporter, author of zombie stories, writer for The Fake Football and Sports Jerks. Fantasy Sports Writers Association member. His work has been featured in the New York Times. Follow C.D. on Twitter @CDCarter13
C.D. Carter has also recently been writing about how poker can be applied to fantasy sports, check it out… Poker Lessons Applied to Fantasy Football
Check out C.D. Carter’s Amazon page for more of his fiction writing goodness Amazon.com
A violent group of the hordes were pounding on my door, I just barely had enough time to send off my report before the first one broke through.
*This is the latest in a series of stories. Miss the other parts? Find them below…*
They say its unhealthy, but I feel better, stronger even. Like I could take over the world, or is that what clogged arteries feel like?
“Last week the yellow and the orange bell peppers were the same price as the green ones! Do you have any idea how excited I was?!” Margot exclaimed to a half-listening coworker. It was at this exact moment she realized she would die alone.
- Mariel Q
Follow this guest on the twitter machine @MarielQ
As the 78 year-old man sat in front of the scattered group of 3 plumbers, 2 carpenters, a seamstress, bus driver, circus clown and stripper, pleading his case as to why he needed hip replacement surgery, the “people behind the glass” began to take notes. After the 5 minute meeting had come to a close, the group, as instructed by the leader of the “glass people”, stated to the elderly gentleman, “sorry to be the bearer of such bad news, but your case has been denied; thus, the infection in your hip will kill you within the year.” The first test case of the Death Panel has been heard and the President, with a wide grin and a tremendous sense of pride, turns to his wife, glowingly and says “that is just the way Allah intended it to be…. F%&#ing infidels!”
—— By Steve L
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**Editors note… this might be a controversial story to some, does anyone have anything to say? If so, please feel free to submit your own response, thank you.**
Anyone?
The office had no coffee maker, and when someone brought one in, the office had no coffee, and when someone purchased a giant tub of coffee grounds, the new coffee maker broke, and since instant coffee tasted something like stale piss, I decided I’d do cocaine instead.
- C.D. Carter
Find CDCarter’s other works on Amazon: C.D. Carter
She ran her hands through her hair; she could already feel the hair matting, then she looked at her plate of meat substitute and baked chickpeas and cringed. Could she possibly already be turning into a hippy after two days of being a vegan?? She needed a shower and a big bacon cheeseburger.
- Erin Rooks (kerrrooks)
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